FYI: The "Get Help" Button Doesn't Work!

A pair of graphs are walking down the street. One of them looks back at the last sentence on page four and asks, "what on earth is this world coming to? It's beginning to look as though the average writer can't muster syntax." The other one replies, "What did you expect? The whole world is helpless."

The first one says, "I thought the word was hapless."

The second one fired back, "Sorry, I meant to say 'hopeless.' "



　

Cut to:

My wife has told me, numerous times, that I need to "get help." My co-workers at my day

job and my landlord have joined the chorus. Now, even my kids are telling me

that I need "help."

What to do?

　

I asked my secretary; she couldn't fit me in before next Wednesday.

I called the "help desk," they put me on hold.

I asked my psychiatrist, he told me I was beyond help.

Finally, out of desperation, I tried the "Get Help" button on LinkedIn.

No luck.

All of our major systems are failing. It's just another economic indicator that suggests that we are in a seller's market. Every place on the internet that offers "help," seems to wantmoney -and LOTS of it!

It's not hopeless, but it certainly looks "helpless."

What should I do?

Any ideas?