Attention Early Risers

While the experts have not yet weighed in on this one, I am telling you now, so you can decide for yourself. It was about 6am, I was travelling along State Highway 27, heading South. I saw a fire-engine red pickup truck pulling away from the carcass of a freshly flattened deer. The truck seemed, for the most part, unscathed. The dear deer, however, was another story altogether.

The atmosphere was cool. A light fog was still lingering in the low, heavily-wooded areas, but the roads were pretty clear. After last night's storm, there was still some debris laying about. Other than that, it should've been pretty smooth sailing.

Now, a lot has been written, throughout the history of mankind, in regards to "early rising," for instance, Benjamin Franklin's famous, "Early to bed and early to rise... etc." but truthfully, I must warn you, there are hidden dangers that you might not have thought about. The guy in the pickup truck, notwithstanding, think of that poor deer. She got up early, walked out to grab a bite to eat, maybe start her day ahead of the herd and then BAM! Who could've seen that coming?

I can't tell you how many early birds I have witnessed, over the years, each probably still had the worms in their bellies, if anybody had taken the time to perform an autopsy -but here they were, formerly ahead of the flock, now only carrion, by the roadside. Fodder for the birds and other beasts that enjoy that sort of thing.

I caution you, my dear readers, don't fall into the trap. Early rising sounds innocent enough but, it could be your undoing. I'm suggesting, maybe noonish. In fact, you might not even want to get up quite THAT early. After all, you could fall victim to the noontime rush and get trampled just outside the doors of the local Starbucks.

Still unconvinced? Later in the day, around 6:45 am, I was coming back along the same route and saw the carcass of a porcupine that didn't quite make it across the road. Now, I realize that in the case of nocturnal animals, he may have been merely up past his bedtime, and who knows, maybe still a little tipsy from the night's activities -nonetheless, I have to believe that this is more than just coincidence, having happened all in the same morning.