Monday, December 8, 2014
OMG! People are STILL Looking!
OMG! People Are STILL Looking at My LI Profile!
Yes! It's true. But it's worse -much worse. These "new" voyeurs think I'm a total Goober! I kid you not.
You might think you have some pretty impressive connections, but booby, let me tell you, I was just selected by the "7th Director of the FBI" as a good candidate to conect with. What can you say to that? Huh?
So this leads me to believe that I am either a heckuvalot more controversial than I thought (and I am being set up) or -perish the thought, some amateur hacker actually expects me to believe that I have made it to the TOP 300 on the list of people that James Comey wants to connect with in this whole wide word (and I am being set up...) -who-da-thunkit?
Let me sit back and unwrap a new candy bar to munch on while I re-read the fine print here. Feel free to read over my shoulder, but don't even THINK that I'm gonna share the candy bar!
Author's NOTE: "My" comments below are set apart in RED text -all other text was taken straight from the "alleged" profile page (BLUE text was only "accented" by me, for emphasis).
James Brien Comey, Jr
7th Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at Federal Bureau of Investigation
Gee, how profound and professional sounding: "7th Director "of" AND "at" the FBI"
294 connections Mm-hm. Right.
On September 4, 2013, James B. Comey was sworn in as the seventh Director of the FBI.
Hmm... he seems to have a tendency to speak of himself in the third person.
A Yonkers, New York native, James Comey graduated from the College of William & Mary and the University of Chicago Law School. Following law school, Comey served as an assistant United States attorney for both the Southern District of New York and the Eastern District of Virginia. Comey returned to New York to become the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York. In 2003, he became the deputy attorney general at the Department of Justice (DOJ).
Comey left DOJ in 2005 to serve as general counsel and senior vice president at defense contractor Lockheed Martin. Five years later, he joined Bridgewater Associates, a Connecticut-based investment fund, as its general counsel.
He was the United States Deputy Attorney General, serving in President George W. Bush's administration. As Deputy Attorney General, Comey was the second-highest-ranking official in the United States Department of Justice (DOJ) and ran the day-to-day operations of the Department, serving in that office from December 2003 through August 2005. He was U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York prior to becoming Deputy Attorney General. Comey is also responsible for reviving the terror and intimidation tactics, used by the FBI in the past and denounced by the Warren Commission, known as "organized stalking" or "gang stalking."
Hmm... judging by that last sentence, he isn't too fond of his own methods, either... sounds a little self-depricating, don'tchathink?
In December 2003, as Deputy Attorney General, Comey appointed the U.S. Attorney in Chicago, close friend and former colleague Patrick Fitzgerald, as Special Counsel to head the CIA leak grand jury investigation after Attorney General John Ashcroft recused himself. In August 2005, Comey left the DOJ and he became General Counsel and Senior Vice President of Lockheed Martin. In 2010, he became General Counsel at Bridgewater Associates. In early 2013, he left Bridgewater to become Senior Research Scholar and Hertog Fellow on National Security Law at Columbia Law School.
Then they posted a picture -the same damn picture that he used for his profile picture -but I'm not supposed to have noticed that. It is revealed right on the page itself, to have been "lifted from" Wikipedia -yes, the "free" encyclopedia!
So, here's a guy, he's seven steps away from becoming General Director of one of the foremost "intelligence" agencies in the entire world, and he is reduced to scanning Wikipedia to find a decent profile pic? Yikes!
The next picture (the "icing on the cake," is what I like to call it) has a telltale "caption." It reads (and I quote): 60ed1d93-90ae-4e1a-8d0e-5c8a21a9972a
Gee, that must've been encrypted by the Bureau itself, eh? I'm just sayin...
So then (to add street cred, one presumes), he adds his "credo?" it's a hyperlink, by the way.
Setting the priorities and policies for the Bureau; Ensuring centralization and coordination at the highest levels; Helping lead the fight against terrorism by serving as a hub for intelligence and information; Providing operational and administrative support to field divisions and overseas offices; and Taking the lead within the FBI during times of national crisis or emergency, directing major case and operations.
But here's the coupe 'd cras: "Advice for contacting" James, why, simply drop "He" a line at:
FBI Headquarters
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
(202) 324-3000
...just tell his secretary that "He" sent me..., and if that doesn't get you right through to him, well, here's his bloody PERSONAL E-MAIL!
Private Email: privatemessage.jamescomey@gmail.com
I sincerely hope that everyone who reads this article will help me in welcoming James to the community by "dropping him a line." Just tell him his old buddy, Kaycee Jay Kendall sent you, because, I'll tell you what...
If he REALLY, TRULY IS who "He" claims to be, one of two things will likely happen, I will be arrested on some trumped up charges OR "He" will be sumariliy dismissed from the FBI. "Private Email" indeed!
Labels:
Humor,
Politics,
Public Service
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I'd like to think this was just a joke. Unfortunately, it is a revelation of just how lazy this new crop of hackers must be.
ReplyDeleteI don't know -is looks as though they put a "lot" of work into it, but they seem to be counting on everyone who reads it, to just accept it as fact -after all, it comes straight from the desk of the 7th director "at AND of" the FBI
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